Looking Back

Memories of you hurt. I think I should just stop thinking. I always know that it's not healthy to go into a time of isolation for closure when things are not nicely resolved. I don't want to wait a couple months to years to finally not care about it. I do care about it, I did. And saying that I don't care is a not sign surrendering, that doesn't set me free, no. Instead, not caring is almost like pretending to be strong, pretending that everything is finally ok again, while avoiding the root issues and letting the problems fade away.... and pile up in the back of your mind.

In the end, I think what I really miss is what we almost had. Not so much about you anymore, not so much about me, not so much about the good memories of us. In a while these things all passed away. What was left was really just the hurt, the scars, and the new skin.

Don't you think?

Throw back to when I looked like a kid, thought like a kid, when everything was simpler and the happiest place on earth was home.

It's just one of those days when you feel really crappy about yourself. Life is just getting harder and harder as you grow up. I have major communication problem with people, and I'm such a talker too. I don't know what to do. :(